As a child I always wanted a mohawk but the idea was vetoed by my parents. I now have one. Take that, childhood. Next I need to acquire and learn to operate a jet that can transform into a kickass robot. That's pretty much the extent of my childhood ambitions.

I don't think I've ever read anything written by Charles Dickens. It seems like I probably should have somewhere along the line, but for some reason I feel like it's too late to now.

Of all the right-wing figures who have promoted Mike Huckabee's extraordinary political rise from a backwater church to the national pulpit of a presidential campaign--and there are many--perhaps none know the former Arkansas governor and current Republican presidential front-runner better than Jay Cole. A Baptist minister based in Fayetteville, Arkansas, with a right-wing radio talk show of his own, Cole has been instrumental in inspiring Huckabee's rise over more than two decades. Indeed, when Huckabee was the governor of Arkansas, it was Cole who persuaded him to arrange the release from prison of a convicted rapist, Wayne Dumond, who had become a born-again evangelical in prison--the most controversial act of Huckabee's career, which still dogs him on the campaign trail.
[...]
Cole, a vitriolic Clinton critic who calls the former president "trash" and says he helped produce the infamous anti-Clinton propaganda video The Clinton Chronicles, immediately embraced Dumond's cause, taking to the airwaves to paint him as the victim of a dark conspiracy. Cole claimed without evidence that a vindictive Clinton and his surrogates had framed Dumond and had possibly orchestrated his castration as well.
[...]
Huckabee routinely warns of the threat of "Islamofascism" at campaign rallies and is perhaps the first major presidential candidate in American history to essentially call for the ethnic cleansing of the Palestinians from the Gaza Strip and the West Bank. Huckabee declared during a New Hampshire fundraiser in October that a Palestinian state should only be established outside of biblical Israel, possibly in Egypt or Saudi Arabia, according to the Jewish Russian Telegraph. He reiterated this position during an appearance on Face the Nation in November.

Most of the batshitcrazy in the article is not directly attributed to Huckabee, but that doesn't change the fact that Mike Huckabee is not a sane man

Mike Huckabee used the volatile situation in Pakistan Friday to make an argument for building a fence on the American border with Mexico and found himself trying to explain a series of remarks about Pakistanis and their nation.

On Thursday night he told reporters in Orlando, Fla.: “We ought to have an immediate, very clear monitoring of our borders and particularly to make sure if there’s any unusual activity of Pakistanis coming into the country.”

On Friday, in Pella, Iowa, he expanded on those remarks.

“When I say single them out I am making the observation that we have more Pakistani illegals coming across our border than all other nationalities except those immediately south of the border,” he told reporters in Pella. “And in light of what is happening in Pakistan it ought to give us pause as to why are so many illegals coming across these borders.”

In fact, far more illegal immigrants come from the Philippines, Korea, China and Vietnam, according to recent estimates from the Department of Homeland Security.

Asked how a border fence would help keep out Pakistani immigrants, Mr. Huckabee argued that airplane security was already strong, but that security at the southern United States border was dangerously weak.

“The fact is that the immigration issue is not so much about people coming to pick lettuce or make beds, it’s about someone coming with a shoulder-fired missile,” he said.

And he doesn't stop there...

Bush would have just laughed at the kid.

Better quality video, with crazy post-arrest screaming (the government's gonna kill me!), here.

(Oh, and the crazy guy raises a few good points.)

Lee L. Mercer Jr. via memepool which is still infrequently awesome.

Jack Chick explains why there are no more dinosaurs. Apparently they were eaten by pirates or something.

You have been educated stupid. And don't forget to help fund his research by buying one of his excellent prada knock-off purses.

I get enough blank stares from people asking to use any of my computers when I try to explain why my keyboard layout is so funky. I can only imagine trying to explain this monstrosity.

This reminds me that I've been meaning to post a link to a pretty neat Java applet that analyzes sample text and shows various stats contrasting Dvorak and QWERTY keyboard layouts. Not to evangelize or anything.

From an excellent Lost season 3 recap:

So it all started with some blonde chick who was upset because she couldn't make muffins or something and we felt bad for her and we were like, "Aw, poor woman, don't worry about your muffins!"