Amount jailed star quarterback Michael Vick spent from July '06 to July '08, according to recent bankruptcy papers: $17.7 million.
Amount of that time he was in prison: 8 months.
Total amount of checks he wrote his mother, Brenda Boddie—not counting all her bills he paid—even while in prison: $21,400.
Amount he donated to her church: $327,900
Amount Vick was sentenced to pay to house and care for the 47 pit bulls he and his buddies didn't drown, strangle, hang, shoot, or electrocute for not winning fights: $928,073.
Average pay, per hour, of Vick's pit bulls' caregivers at the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Kanab, Utah: $14.
Pay, per hour, Vick gets for washing pots and pans at Leavenworth: 12 cents.

Radiohead - Weird Fishes - by Tobias Stretch

as seen from a cop car

You will watch this, and you will be amazed.

They told her it was a tumor. It turns out there was something living... in her brain!

Upside down dogs.

Ok, so this is pretty fucking rad.

So it's come to this—I've signed up on a social networking site. It may just be LinkedIn, but next thing you know, I'll be posting slutty pictures to get MySpace friends.

I'm afraid I have a case of probable near-term unemployment. I say "probable", because it's not a certainty, but neither is me pouring another glass of whisky. Anyway, it turns out that I can't find any of you bastards on LinkedIn. Come on, I need more professional contacts!

(Well, I actually found a couple of friends, but the rest of you bastards are clearly falling behind the times.)

Sooo, is ESPN really that far off?

[ TENNESSEE ]

FEMALE. Tennessee is orange crazy. The ice tray in her orange fridge, that freezes the water she dyes orange, is that orange. The party girl cowboy hat she wears is a white and orange zebra print. The tattoo on her lower back is Pantone 3 for that Tennessee orange. The only thing that's not orange is her dog, which is the mascot Smokey. Did we mention she's crazy? A slutty girl who would hang out at the cowgirl hall of fame.

Yes, that's a base jumper bungee jumping from another base jumper.

So the Girl Talk show I went to a few weeks ago was amazing. Weird costumes and wild dancing everywhere. But it was shut down twice. As you can see in the first video, Girl Talk invites large numbers of the audience on stage with him. The area I was in was packed when the show started and then suddenly I had tons of room. I looked up and it seemed like there were fifty people packed in on stage around him. They were packed so tight that people kept falling off the edge of the stage. So the security guards set themselves up like a human wall at the edge. Well some kid ran and jumped into the arms of the bouncer on stage, the bouncer fell over into the crowd, and while he was getting back into position about 5 or 6 people fell off the stage into the crowd. So this happened again and they shut the show down. (continued inside)